I’ve recently started writing again as you can tell, and it feels so good. I like many other people in the world have a hard time expressing myself but it seems when I sit down with pad and paper or a computer at my hands I can do it a lot better. Tough times have been a part of my life just and much as the good. These are the things that make life worth living. For those of you who don’t know I love to tell stories and some say I’m very good at it and my good friend Caleb says “I think what it is, is your delivery.” I told him it’s something I hold near and dear to my heart. I want whoever is listening to be there in the story at that exact moment. I’ve always tried to do the same with my writing also but I’ve always been afraid to let anyone in that close. Well now is the time. Caleb is actually the one to put this idea in my head just with some conversations we’ve had though out our deployment. I’ve always wanted to have other people read and tell me what they think. I wanted the Gods honest truth. It’s funny though how we sometimes want something so badly but are afraid to take the steps needed. Well this is my chance and I’m going to take it. A few things I’ve already posted are recent and I think I did fairly well. But what makes me write this here and now is something I just read written by Caleb himself “The Prayer Answered.” He wrote it after he watched explosion go off while I was standing about ten feet away it. It opened my eyes to how much great friends are needed though out life. Caleb thanks for being more than a friend, thanks for being a Brother.
Brothers in Arms
Cold and tired not ready for bed can’t lie down yet. My mind it just keeps racing I think I need another cigarette.
The doctors come checking.
“Tell me what happen, start from the beginning.”
“Are you feeling any pains.”
“We have to give you a test”
Stepping into the darkness my eyes adjusting back in to the night. I see a familiar face, the look it was wearing one I’d never seen before. It seemed to come from deep inside, something not worn to often one I thought I’d never see. Up until this moment laughter had covered all my fear. I wear the face so well I’ve done it all before, this task was no test for me.
Smile on my face I was still wearing it o so well. Someone who didn’t know me wouldn’t know I felt I escaped from hell.
“What’s up man?” Waiting for a smile. I figured we’d cut up again since we hadn’t talked in a while. Instead I got something different not what I expected at all.
“I love you man.” But his face said something different and I could only imagine what it meant.
It said I saw what happen, and it scared me half to death. I wanted to come and help you my body it couldn’t rest. I stared into the darkness slightly lit by my trucks light. I griped the steering wheel tightly. Angry at the world hoping you're ok so you can see your baby girl. I saw you standing in my door not too sure if you were real. Did something crazy happen? I might be dreaming now. I could reach out and shake your hand crack a joke like I always do. Say something about the potatoes just so I know it’s you. Standing here I know it true I’m so happy your alive I don’t know what to tell you so this will have to do. "I love you man."
Shock and awe ran through my mind, my words were just the same. With just four words I said so much more.
I need no longer hide. I love you man you're not just a friend you are a brother of mine. I saw your face you didn’t speak “what’s up” is what I said with smile on my face I assure you I’m not yet dead. I saw you cared and that’s what matters in my time of need. They say that men don’t hug but its ok you’re a brother indeed.
Not many more words were shared that night a few did us just fine. We knew tomorrow morning, another day to live. Another day Gods given us to show what true family is.
11/20/2010
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